Condescension: the fine line between praise and humiliation

[snar_dust]

So, this is a bit of a strange one that I've been stewing on for a while!

Condescension: where does it fit into a humiliation/degredation dynamic? The answer may be obvious to you, or it may be a completely foreign concept. What I'm here to figure out is where I want it, where I don't want it, and why it's important to make a distinction between being in-scene and out-of-scene uses- when someone is condescending to you in daily life- of course that's not something that is all that safe or healthy to feel good about. That's something to take as the disrespect it is... But if someone is simply feeding a known desire or assumed and existing dynamic between you as a lover would and should, there is nothing wrong with enjoying that in a safe environment...

But the real meat of this post: how do you impliment and apply this concept well to play? I would personally start with some rather light insulting and backhanded insults where you give praise while showing superiority... I'lol be honest... This isn't my forte as a Domme. It's simply a desire as a sub. If anyone has good ways to make this a thing that is truly done and iknown, please tell me and if you can do it well, please either train someone who Dom(me)s me in your ways or Dom(me) me

 

[Ramboiio]

As you mentioned there should be clear distinction between when to be condescending and when not to be.
Personally I like to be be nice respectful to everyone, that is when not in scene but once I start playing after I know what the other person's limits are and I have the consent then I can humiliate/ degrade someone to the limits. I can be sadistic too but that's all only when I am playing.
So knowing that fine line between when playing and not is important.

Coming to your question about how to apply it in play, it depends on how you like it to be, giving praises in between while degrading is a good way to play because for some getting praised after some Humiliation feels good.
And its a bit difficult to explain these things because it better to experience it.
Send me a PM if interested.

 

[snar_dust]

As you mentioned there should be clear distinction between when to be condescending and when not to be.
Personally I like to be be nice respectful to everyone, that is when not in scene but once I start playing after I know what the other person's limits are and I have the consent then I can humiliate/ degrade someone to the limits. I can be sadistic too but that's all only when I am playing.
So knowing that fine line between when playing and not is important.

Coming to your question about how to apply it in play, it depends on how you like it to be, giving praises in between while degrading is a good way to play because for some getting praised after some Humiliation feels good.
And its a bit difficult to explain these things because it better to experience it.
Send me a PM if interested.

Hey there ^^ Thanks for joining the forum! I'm currently not seeking (currently healing from over extending myself in polyamory and trying to decide how to move forward without leaving my partners as I still love all of them), but thank you for the offer... I consider the condescension less of an on/off humilation/praise duality and more of both in one... Things like "such a sweet little dummy" (a backhanded insult/compliment combination), "I'll teach you all you need to know" (implies that the person speaking is more intelligent than you), or even I'd consider "good girl" a condescension as it shows superiority and offers praise in the same breathe. hope that this helped you understand what I meant!

 

[LittleP]

Hello erveryone. As a sub who like being degradet and humiliated, i like to tell you what this kink means to me.
I think every day we wear a mask. We are strong and clever, disciplined and eloquent in every way.
The fetish or the thrill is to lose this mask. To be seens as person with weaknesses and it´s okay.
The Domme (if he/she is good) plays with this weaknesses and he/she finishes by accepting the weaknesses of the sub.

 

[Ramboiio]

Hey there ^^ Thanks for joining the forum! I'm currently not seeking (currently healing from over extending myself in polyamory and trying to decide how to move forward without leaving my partners as I still love all of them), but thank you for the offer... I consider the condescension less of an on/off humilation/praise duality and more of both in one... Things like "such a sweet little dummy" (a backhanded insult/compliment combination), "I'll teach you all you need to know" (implies that the person speaking is more intelligent than you), or even I'd consider "good girl" a condescension as it shows superiority and offers praise in the same breathe. hope that this helped you understand what I meant!

No worries.
I understand what you mean.
i think its most fun when both Humiliation and care is combined.

 

[Ramboiio]

Hello erveryone. As a sub who like being degradet and humiliated, i like to tell you what this kink means to me.
I think every day we wear a mask. We are strong and clever, disciplined and eloquent in every way.
The fetish or the thrill is to lose this mask. To be seens as person with weaknesses and it´s okay.
The Domme (if he/she is good) plays with this weaknesses and he/she finishes by accepting the weaknesses of the sub.

Yes we all are here to shed our masks and live what our desires want us to be.
Nobody in my life can ever guess that I am a sadist...

 

[Venus Vee]

An interesting discussion. I’m of the communication mindset.
My partner and I talk everything out. Then go for it .
Every now and then we will check in with each other to ask questions. Have the boundaries moved? What had the most / least impact?
Making sure the giver & receiver are still enjoying the play.

There is SO MUCH more to learn, and that is why we are here, but communication is the key… in my humble opinion.