WHAT IS COLLARING?
Collaring is the intimate act within a dominant/submissive relationship of a dominant gifting a collar to their submissive to symbolise a new stage of their relationship and bondage. It isn’t an act that should be mistaken for a normal present, but is instead seen as something akin to a promise ring, engagement or wedding ceremony, with many actually hosting events and ceremonies to celebrate the moment. No legal paperwork is provided within the act of collaring as it isn’t a legal state of relationship, meaning that a submissive can still walk away from their partner at any point to break off the relationship. However, to reach a collaring, it is understood that the relationship is serious and long-term, much in the same way a marriage is. As the dominant is the one to choose and purchase the collar for their submissive, if the relationship were to be broken off for whatever reason, it would be expected that the submissive return the collar to them as a sign of respect.
Many relationships seek the submissive to wear a collar at all times, even when out at work or not in the company of their dominant, but not all relationships require this and the parameters and expectations truly differ per couple, as often discussed on online chat forums. While most collars are of a leather, or similar materials also highly enjoyed within the BDSM scene, it is also no unusual for the collar to not actually be a collar at all. Instead a piece of jewellery such as a necklace, a bracelet or even a key chain can be used. Utilising jewellery such as this is often a more discrete way of enjoying a D/S relationship in public, as it is not the collar itself that is of the highest importance, but instead what it symbolises (such as with engagement rings).
The importance and respect given to the collar dictates a set of rules not only for the wearer to stand by, but also anyone who they meet. Online chat communities often discuss how it is deemed inappropriate for someone other than the dominant in the relationship to touch the collar of the submissive, due to its significant symbolism and meaning, and other dominants are held more closely to this rule rather than other submissives. For a dominant outside of the relationship to attempt to make a sexual relationship with the wearer of a collar would be seen as a sign of great disrespect and would be highly looked down within the community.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
Collaring is the intimate act within a dominant/submissive relationship of a dominant gifting a collar to their submissive to symbolise a new stage of their relationship and bondage. It isn’t an act that should be mistaken for a normal present, but is instead seen as something akin to a promise ring, engagement or wedding ceremony, with many actually hosting events and ceremonies to celebrate the moment. No legal paperwork is provided within the act of collaring as it isn’t a legal state of relationship, meaning that a submissive can still walk away from their partner at any point to break off the relationship. However, to reach a collaring, it is understood that the relationship is serious and long-term, much in the same way a marriage is. As the dominant is the one to choose and purchase the collar for their submissive, if the relationship were to be broken off for whatever reason, it would be expected that the submissive return the collar to them as a sign of respect.
Many relationships seek the submissive to wear a collar at all times, even when out at work or not in the company of their dominant, but not all relationships require this and the parameters and expectations truly differ per couple, as often discussed on online chat forums. While most collars are of a leather, or similar materials also highly enjoyed within the BDSM scene, it is also no unusual for the collar to not actually be a collar at all. Instead a piece of jewellery such as a necklace, a bracelet or even a key chain can be used. Utilising jewellery such as this is often a more discrete way of enjoying a D/S relationship in public, as it is not the collar itself that is of the highest importance, but instead what it symbolises (such as with engagement rings).
The importance and respect given to the collar dictates a set of rules not only for the wearer to stand by, but also anyone who they meet. Online chat communities often discuss how it is deemed inappropriate for someone other than the dominant in the relationship to touch the collar of the submissive, due to its significant symbolism and meaning, and other dominants are held more closely to this rule rather than other submissives. For a dominant outside of the relationship to attempt to make a sexual relationship with the wearer of a collar would be seen as a sign of great disrespect and would be highly looked down within the community.
DIFFERENT TYPES OF COLLARS
There are a vast range of different collars that each symbolise different things. Some relationships will only have a single collar to be given at a monumental moment of trust and commitment, such as with an engagement ring. However, others may utilise different collars for different stages of their relationship, or will provide their submissive different collars for different settings once the commitment has been made.
When it comes to the main styles of collar, it is often to be expected that a collar is made of leather and utilises a form of padlock, for the key to be kept by the dominant. This means that only the dominant is the one able to remove the collar whenever they like. More modern collars are more lightweight, as a padlock can often prove heavy on the neck, and instead incorporates different metals and locking mechanisms. For those with a more alternative style of dress, they might forego the standard collar style entirely and instead utilise tattoos, scars, alternative forms of jewellery or even no physical symbol at all, as hotly debated on chat forums.
Collars for specific settings can also include day collars, which typically consist of some type of jewellery inconspicuous to those outside of the scene. This allows for submissives to continue to work in professional settings and enjoy time with their family without having to worry about being inappropriate or having to explain their personal preferences. This also allows for the submissive to be reminded of their connection and commitment wordlessly even when away from their partner. Play collars are specific collars that are usually wider than usual and padded with cushioning. This allows for much more flexible movement as well as tugging during play, making it durable and dynamic within a play session. A posture collar is often rigid and boned, ensuring a specific form of posture to its wearer, often forcing them to stop turning their head or to realign their spine to better suit their health. A pet collar is also a collar worn by a submissive who also enjoys pet play. While not often utilising the same means of fashion as other D/S collars, these will instead likely look more similar to the traditional pets collar, such as with a little tag with their name.
Collars can also be worn to represent a period of transition in the lives of dominants and submissives, with training and consideration collars being common within the scene. Consideration collars are typically blue and are worn to show a level of commitment while both partners consider each other for a more permanent relationship and commitment. Similarly, a training collar is worn to symbolise a specific stage of the relationship where the dominant trains the submissive to a mould of relationship that will make them both happy. These collars are typically less restraining than more permanent collars, not utilising locks but instead maybe a simple buckle that is less intimidating. These collars are often red, but many also are not.
There is also a term about a “Velcro collar” that isn’t about a physical collar at all. It is instead a derogative term used on online chat communities to insult those who collar and uncollar too quickly. Since collaring is meant to be a serious, long-term commitment, those who uncollar in less than a year are often looked down upon, the same as for marriages which end quickly.
HISTORY OF COLLARING
The notion of collars as they exist within BDSM is rather a new occurrence, though the notion of wearing collars to signify social or relationship statuses have been around for hundreds of years. For example, in the 1600s, it was common for courted European women to wear ruffs, a statement to those around them about their relationship status. When looking throughout history, it is common also to see how necklaces and tiaras have often been utilised by the upper classes to signify social statuses of different kinds.
COLLARING PORN
If you’re looking for collaring porn you should check out our Fetish Porn Links page. There, you’ll find porn vids on your favorite sexual kink. Tube videos of men and women being controlled with collars around their neck as well as other kinky BDSM porn.